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I just finished listening to what has to be the most convoluted, disorganized and funniest recording of a police report I have ever heard and I have heard some doozies. Now, like I said in my webcast, Tim Holmseth made some really stupid mistakes that totally ruined any chance of finding out who actually knifed the tire.

Since it is likely Tim himself who knifed the tire, there is no crime to be solved to begin with.

Let me go over this point by point.

Tim gets up in the morning and discovers he has a flat tire.

He manages to drive the car with the flat a short distance to get air in it. The air is escaping real fast but he manages to get it to a second place where he is able to get someone to look at it.

The tire repair guy tells Tim that his tire has been slashed. 

Tim takes a photo of the tire and leaves the repair shop. He does NOT take the knifed tire with him.

He then waits until 24 hours later to go to the police station to file his report.

So here is the problem with his little story.

As I explained before, a tire is nothing but a container that holds compressed air. When stabbed with a knife, it is going to make a lot of noise. Next whoever did this chose the INSIDE sidewall of the tire, facing the wheel well rather than the outside wheel well which is real easy to get at.

The person slashes ONE tire and not the rest of them.

The person leaves a note on the car. What is odd here is the part where Tim claims there was a note on the car is no longer on his article. I wonder why.

For some strange reason, Tim does not have a spare so he drives the car to not one but two different places in order to get it repaired. We call this in the business a “run flat” tire. This always ruins the tire to the point where it cannot be repaired and there will be obvious damage to the tire, NONE of which shows up in his photo of it. 

Now, right there and then, He should have called the cops to come and look at the tire. Instead he leaves, goes home, writes the blog and then waits until THE NEXT DAY to report the crime. 

He also does not keep the tire. He leaves it at the repair shop. By now it is likely gone since it is no use to the shop and it is unlikely that Tim asked the shop to keep the tire. 

Now this is where Tim really messes things up. Instead of sticking to the subject of reporting the incident, he goes into a long monologue as to how he is this big time true crime reporter who is a federal witness in a Florida Kidnapping (not true) and has all of this secret information he cannot release because of this that and the other thing.

In short, he comes out presenting himself as the village idiot.

Now, if the cops take the time to examine the photo, they are going to see clearly that the crime is staged. This would then make Tim subject to arrest of filing a false police report.

Now to the final and most important point. If you do a keyword search for the East Grand Forks Police department on Tim’s blog, you will find that Tim does not have a lot of good things to say about that department. He has made a lot of accusations against them.

Now why do you think that The East Grand Forks Police Department would be interested in finding out who slashed his tire? They would probably send the guy a thank you note instead.

East Grand Forks is a rather small town. The police department is small. It turns out that Tim Holmseth is well known by officers there and he is on their shit list.

Tim has accused law enforcement of attempting to plant drugs to get him put in jail. That probably does not sit well with the cops in that area so reporting the tire slashing was probably not the best choice for Tim to make.

In the end, the gullible morons who read his nonsense will probably send him enough to pay for his tire.

If anything Tim provides a lot of amusement. Perhaps someday I will get to cover his trial.

One can always hope.

Stay tuned